Not hair product. Just endless, endless sand.

So apparently my family is reading this blog. Hi, family! Welcome. I’m sorry that this is vaguely incoherently copyedited pretty much always. (Please don’t tell my English professors.)

ANYWAY. Back to what I was thinking about, which was: cold showers. Specifically, the fact that I have been taking one a day for–just checked the calendar–25 days (there were hot showers during orientation)–and I have still in no way grown accustomed to them.

At the beginning, cold showers seemed like a surmountable obstacle. Everyone else here does them, I figured, and so I should be able to too. It’s not like I’m hanging out taking leisurely, thinking-type showers. I’m basically doing a slightly glorified version of hair-face-pits-crotch-feet and bouncing. My mid-back has not seen water in literally two weeks, and I can’t tell if what’s going on back there is dirt or sunburnt skin that won’t peel or what, because it does not contribute to my overall odor factor.

(By the way, I realize that this is completely gross, but these are the Things I Think About now. This is what happens with Millennials don’t get to have wifi at home.)

But so far, we are in a no dice kind of situation on the cold shower acceptance. My body is still completely convinced that this is some shitty new regiment that–if it opposes it long enough–will go away.

Two nights ago, I tried to bathe my increasingly-gross back by just sucking it up and standing under the shower head while I turned the thing on. As soon as the water began to pour, my body–completely without my conscious input–veered out of the way of the water and slammed me hip-first into the wall of the shower.

Cold showers are so viscerally unpleasant for me that my quick-fire nervous system is actually circumventing conscious thought in order to avoid them. This is not a Healthy Situation.

All of this is a very long winded way to say that my parents are coming to visit in less than a week and during that time we’ll be staying in a hotel. I am totally and without shame locking myself in the hotel bathroom and using as much hot water as I can while they sleep off jetlag. Come hell and hot water, I will have a clean back by the end of spring break.